How Women Set Themselves Up To Fail

Wow. I mean. Wow.

So, Theresa sent me a link on Facebook – I’m still debating posting it – of an article on how women set themselves up to fail.

First, I think it is a great show of maturity on my part that I’m not nearly as angry about this post as I would have been, say two years ago. From the beginning when he calls all women crazy (yes, those are the first three words of this post), to the part where he tells me, I (as a woman) have been brainwashed, to when he points out that we (women) all lose our looks after 26 (no brainwashing there, Preston), I didn’t scream or punch the back of the neck of the guy sitting in front of me on the subway, or use the eff word, or even throw my phone down in disgust.

Mostly I just laughed, because I feel terrible for this poor, simple, 20-something (my guess and hope as if he is in his 30s, then I feel scared for our future) idiot.

Actually, I think we should collectively feel terrible for the author of this post who was clearly recently dumped by his girlfriend for a Duke graduate who studied finance and psychology and likes doing things the author didn’t, which seems to be almost anything since the author likes “being lazy” and just “lying in bed all day doing nothing.”

Please note, just because he admits he likes being lazy and doing nothing does not mean he lacks ambition.

Because his now ex-girlfriend wanted to do more with her life, the author reasons “women are insecure” and “like to compete with their friends, and they would rather die than see their friends end up with a better guy than they have.”

So true. The only reason I’m single is because I'm waiting for all my friends to marry so I can find someone better and win (and not die). Unfortunately, all my friends are with such wonderful guys it may be impossible for me to find someone better. Really. My list of four is becoming less about looking for a 6’5” man with a laser rocket arm, and more about Peyton Manning being one of the few guys I can think of who would beat my friends husbands and boyfriends.

But wait, it gets better. You see, every relationship “gets stale” and this is why men cheat and women walk away. But women shouldn’t walk away when it gets stale (or, I guess, if their men cheat), because (my hand to god) “the devil you know is always better than the devil you don’t.”

Also, it seems, nice guys are the guys who are willing to do the minimum in return for decent sex and blow jobs (I couldn’t make this up) and the assholes are the guys in the suits with the fancy degrees taking you out to dinner. But  don’t be fooled, ladies, those guys in the suits with the hard to get reservations are only doing all of that to court you and will eventually dump you for a 22-year old. Leaving you sad. And miserable. And apparently suffering from a mid-life crisis at 30.

Oh, more bad news: you’re only going to live 60.

And I guess this is how women are setting themselves up to fail.

Oh, eff it, here’s the link. Enjoy – the pictures, not to mention the conclusion,  are worth the visit.